“What If Australia Doesn’t Feel Like Home — And I Regret Moving?”
If you’ve recently moved to Australia and you’re secretly wondering, “What if this was a mistake?” — you’re not alone.
In fact, this is one of the most common (and least spoken about) fears new migrants carry.
It doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.
It doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
And it certainly doesn’t mean Australia won’t become home for you in time.
Migration is one of the biggest identity shifts you will ever make. It stretches you emotionally, mentally, culturally, financially — and it exposes every belief you have about safety, belonging, and success.
So let’s normalise this feeling, unpack what’s going on underneath, and explore how to move from regret → grounding → belonging.
Why You Might Feel Like Australia Doesn’t Feel Like Home Yet
Migration regret often shows up between months 3–18, when the initial excitement fades and the reality of rebuilding your life from scratch sets in.
Here are the most common reasons people feel this way:
1. The “Expectation vs Reality” Gap
Before moving, people imagine beaches, better jobs, safety, lifestyle.
But daily reality involves:
navigating systems you don’t understand
job applications and rejections
feeling unknown and unseen
managing homesickness
higher costs than expected
The dream and the day-to-day grind don’t match yet.
2. The Loss You Didn’t Expect
Migration isn’t just gaining a new country — it’s losing a familiar one.
People, identity, routines, roles, status, confidence…
Even the loss of ease.
This invisible grief is often mistaken for regret.
3. A Nervous System Overload
Your brain is processing:
new rules and expectations
new accents
new landscapes
new social cues
new pressures
Your nervous system feels unsafe, even if your environment is safe.
4. Not Having a Community Yet
You can have a job, a house, a TFN, Medicare card — and still feel homeless.
Home is not a postcode.
Home is people, understanding, and emotional safety.
5. Belonging Takes Time
Connection is quick.
Belonging is slow.
And most migrants underestimate how long it takes to feel grounded and familiar in a new country.
The “What-If” Fear Chart
Understanding the Fear Behind “What if I regret moving?”
What you fear
“What if I made the wrong decision?”
“What if I never feel at home here?”
“What if I disappoint my family?”
“What if things were easier back home?”
“What if I can’t make friends or build a life?”
What it really means
Fear of losing safety
Fear of not belonging
Fear of letting people down
Fear of discomfort
Fear of isolation
What’s actually happening
You’re in a transition, not a failure
Belonging builds gradually, not instantly
You’re adjusting to change, not failing
Your brain wants familiarity, not necessarily “better”
Relationships take time — you’re not behind
When you name the fear, it becomes softer.
When you understand the fear, it becomes manageable.
When you take action, it begins to dissolve.
The Mindset Reframe: You Are Not Starting From Zero
It may feel like you are starting over, but you’re not.
You brought with you:
resilience
cultural wisdom
skills
adaptability
the courage to begin again
years of lived experience
the willingness to rebuild
You are not starting from scratch.
You are starting from experience.
6 Key Steps to Move From Regret to Grounded Belonging
1. Allow Yourself to Feel What You’re Feeling
Many migrants push down the sadness, the fear, the grief, the exhaustion.
But emotions don’t disappear.
They pile up.
Instead, allow space for:
culture shock
grief
frustration
loneliness
confusion
homesickness
These feelings are not signs you’ve made the wrong choice — they’re signs you’re human.
Permission to feel leads to freedom to heal.
2. Recognise That “Not Feeling at Home Yet” Is Normal
Most people don’t feel settled for:
6 months
1 year
sometimes 2–3 years
Belonging is not instant.
It is built through tiny, repeated experiences of familiarity and safety.
If you don’t feel at home after a few months, nothing is wrong.
You are simply in the middle of the adjustment curve.
3. Rebuild Your Foundations Step by Step
You don’t need to have everything figured out at once.
Focus on stabilising four key areas:
The Core Four Foundation Framework
Income – feeling financially steadiness
People – making 1–2 social connections
Place – a living space that feels safe and “yours”
Purpose – something small but meaningful to get out of bed for
When these four are strengthened, the sense of home begins to form naturally.
4. Create Micro-Moments of Familiarity
Your nervous system calms when it recognises something.
Try bringing small pieces of your old home into your new life:
cook foods from your culture
listen to music from home
visit multicultural areas
decorate your space with familiar colour
attend cultural or community events
These micro-reminders signal to your brain:
“Safety exists here too.”
5. Build Connection Before You Build Belonging
You don’t need a best friend right away.
Start with small, light-touch interactions:
say hi to your neighbour
join a local gym or class
volunteer once a month
attend meetups or migrant events
join Facebook or community groups
explore your suburb like a tourist
Social connection reduces loneliness by up to 70%, even before deep friendships form.
Home begins with one familiar face.
Just one.
6. Create a ‘Belonging Practice’ for 30 Days
This daily ritual helps rewire your brain to feel grounded where you are.
Your 30-Day Belonging Practice
Each day, choose 1 action:
walk the same route every morning
visit the same café and talk to the staff
write 3 things you’re grateful for about Australia
message someone you met and keep a conversation going
practice English or Aussie slang
learn a new local custom each week
build a routine that anchors you (gym, study, cooking, journaling)
Ritual → familiarity → safety → belonging.
The consistency matters more than the action.
The Truth: Regret Is Often a Symptom, Not a Reality
You probably don’t regret moving.
You regret:
feeling lost
feeling alone
feeling uncertain
not having stability yet
not having a community yet
These are solvable.
These are temporary.
These are part of the adjustment — not your final reality.
Most migrants say that once they get through the first 12–18 months, they wouldn’t change their decision for anything.
You are in the uncomfortable middle — not the end.
Final Reminder: You Are Not Lost — You Are Transforming
Moving countries is not a relocation.
It is an evolution.
There will be moments of doubt.
Moments of grief.
Moments where you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore.
But there will also be moments of pride.
Moments of discovery.
Moments where the unfamiliar becomes familiar…
and the new country becomes home.
You are not failing.
You are expanding.
And home is not something you find.
It is something you create — slowly, gently, repeatedly — through courageous everyday choices.
Australia may not feel like home yet.
But it can.
And it will.
Give yourself time.
Give yourself compassion.
Give yourself permission to grow into this new chapter.
You are already doing far better than you think.
